To do something extraordinary in life, you sometimes do you different things; some things you don’t do again, some things you do over and over again. The “little incredibly fantastic” bus trip that was supposed to take 15 hours, had the pleasure of clocking the amazing time of 26 hours. NO MORE FUCKING BUS, THAT’S FOR SURE!! MOTHERFUCK! And as usual it started out well, like the bus was on time and I put me self in the box and my 70 kg backpack, doubly folded, hungry and in a bad need of a toilet, the HELL started. Got the driver to stop the bus just so I wouldn’t pee my pants, with my pure Swedish urine, in their little “exclusive” box was hardly sufficient.
Finally reach Jangart, where I have to change buses (if I you think it was a simple procedure, THINK AGAIN!) and of course it was delayed and after waiting for two and a half hours, they just told me that the bus to Diu was cancelled and that I had take the local bus which took 6.5 hours (instead of the three that it was supposed to take). Stuffed in the back of the bus with my big fucking backpack, which was CROWDED with locals), tired and annoyed, this really DRUNK Indian man starts to talk to me with very bad English, which only served to increase my irritation, and when I told him I was too tired and “out of order” he asked me if he could see my dick!
What did you say, ha? I swear to God, Buddha, every fucking so called diety, no matter what, that my patience totally crashed, and I got so angry that I just yelled at him, and called him every fucking word I had in my mind, and the all people at the bus just turned over and finally the driver stopped the bus and had the fucking asshole kicked off! Revenge can be so sweet!
Arriving in Diu, the place is DEAD; no tourist can even get a rickshaw. I was tired and hungry, and on top it all, I couldn’t find any place to stay, pacing around for and an hour or so, trying to find a hotel. The first one was really dirty and awful, I just skipped it, back on the horse, I suddenly find a bar (A beer is the definitely what I deserve after all I’ve been through, what the hell did I do to deserve this, answer me!) Refill myself with two beers, and make my way to a hotel that I found in Lonely Planet, but sort of drunk I got lost, confused (or rather a TOTALLY disoriented) and this Polish guy on a motorbike sees me, takes me on his bike to a hotel.
And being the only one at the hotel, which a FAT lazy old man and his two wives run, I study them: he is fat and disabled (in more ways than physiologically)… I watch him during a dinner that is spicy as hell, but good, telling his wife’s what to do or not. They cut his nails, wash his hair, shave him (and I wouldn’t be surprised if they give him laxatives, but hopefully not in the restaurant). Can’t stand it, change hotels, or at least try to next morning but can’t find a decent hotel before check out time, so I stay another night.
Next morning I change hotels and there all of a sudden, the three girls from Sweden were there. We decide to have dinner together and have “couple of beers” (a “couple” is a definition, isn’t it?). And from that it just got totally out of control (BIG TIME). At the time, the Indians had a “dry day” which basically meant that all liquor stores are closed and the restaurants are not allowed to serve any kind of alcohol, but “ well known” as I am (just because it was the same restaurant where I had my two first beers in this town), I manage to get them to serve us Gin and Limca!, Drunk and as the Swedes we are, we buy two bottles of gin an Limca, enough to last for a life time! We finished the two bottles in 45 minutes. The PARTY resulted in a MONSTEROUS drunk, where two German guys and the Swedish girls had the enjoyment of carrying me back to my bungalow, in a state where I was so drunk I couldn’t even stand on my own two feet. Time for the ”Swedish dude” to sleep. BIG TIME hangover next day is just the first humiliation. Of course we did the same thing next night, but the Swedish girls didn’t have to act in the role of nurses.
But I have to admit that from all this there was some kind of inner tension and stress that I had carried along since I got to India, and of course, I let I out by getting myself so drunk, just as the “Swedish dude” I am. Whatever; I had so much fun those nights, so what the fuck!?
Going to Bombay on Thursday and I’m going to be in a BOLLYWOOD MOVIE!!!!
Hahaha….can you believe that? André has his own agent so he fixed it all: an A-movie production, just too bad that I parceled home my “Tony Manero suit”. And how am I going to Bombay? Not by bus, that’s for sure! This time I’m taking the flight that cost me only 450 Swedish crowns!
And then I realized that I’m not as disoriented as I thought, I was (even though I was “sort of” disoriented for two nights), and that I’m going to make it. This is the trip that I have been waiting for, for ten years!!! And it’s just getting better and better every day. Had a down period with some tears and actually missed all the –comforts that I have back home, but just the knowledge of going to Bombay to hook up with André again and do the south part of India just makes me so much happier, even though I’m happy, happy to be here.
Whatever: got a nice suntan (combined with black and blue marks all over my body), excited about Bombay, newly shaved and with 365,354 new mosquito bites I’m now going to get myself together and my backpack as well and hit BOLLYWOOD!!!
To be continued……
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